My 3 Expectations of being a “Dad”

We made the big announcement to friends and family that we have a child on the way, and then it sunk in that WE HAVE A CHILD ON THE WAY!!! It’s funny how that happens.

When the reality sank in, my mind went to work on thinking what it takes to be a great (or at least semi-good) dad. I was able to think about my dad and the other examples in my life and come up with a few goals that I could strive for. Here is what I expect of my role as “Dad”:

1. Never say, “Go ask your mother!”

Ok, I might say it whenever we get to math homework with fractions, but I will not minimize my involvement in his/her life. I want to be active and show interest in my child’s life. I want to be able to listen to their questions, thoughts, and dreams. I want to be able to show understanding when they are pondering the complex things of life like why is the sky blue, why does milk go sour, and why did Lisa Turtle never go out with Screech on Saved By the Bell!?!? We’ll probably never get an answer to the last one, but I still want to always be present and active in his/her life. I want my interest and love for my child to be a miniature example of God’s interest and love for them.

2. Remember that what I say matters, and what I do matters more

A large part of being interested in my son or daughter’s life means spending time listening to them, but my response is just as important. I hope I can always capitalize on teachable moments by speaking Biblical truth to my child. The Bible has so much to offer a child in the stages of development, so I want to be that influence that shares those truths at the appropriate times because what I say matters. Even more so, what I do matters. I hope that my child will listen to what I say. If he/she is anything like I was as a child, then he/she will be so hardheaded that most of what I say will just be a waste of breath! However, I know that two beady little eyes will closely watch every move I make. If I plan to speak truth to my child, then I better live it as well. As a dad, I want to always remember that my actions greatly influence my child.

3. Show my affection as clearly and often as possible

I want my relationship with my son or daughter to be full of affection. From the moment we found out that we would have a baby, I have had an overwhelming amount of love for him/her. I realize that the way I display my love for my child will influence the way that they show love to others. I think a dad should show his love through protecting and providing for the family. This is a huge statement for the whole family that builds trust. I also think that verbal and physical affirmations of love are very important. I want our relationship to have both. Even when the kid doesn’t want it, I will still be offering the hugs and “I love you’s!”

I’m sure that I will continue to think more and learn more over the next several months. I’m might be able to add to this list or rethink some of the thoughts. I do know that everything I say and do boils down to 1 thing—I want my child to have a relationship with Jesus Christ. Reggie Joiner, founder of The ReThink Group, has such a wise quote that I’ve heard him repeat at least a dozen times, he says, “100 years from now the only thing that will matter is a person’s relationship with Jesus Christ.” I understand my role as a father in this decision for my child. I want to be a great dad so that my child will see the awesome love of the Heavenly Father that was demonstrated through His Son at the cross.

Baby Morgan

Thanks to Facebook, many of you already know that Dana and I are going to be parents! We are super excited about what is to come. And to be perfectly honest, we're a little nervous and scared too. I'm guessing that it just goes with the territory. My fears are centered on is the baby ok, is Dana ok, and will I be a good daddy. Dana's fears are centered on will the baby look like Matt, will the baby act like Matt, and what am I going to do with another Matt???? (I'm going to get in trouble for that one later!)

We were guessing that most people got the announcement on Facebook but might like to hear some of the details, so that's what we'll blog about first...

We had our first ultrasound today. All I can say is...amazing. To know that the baby is the size of an olive, and yet to be able to watch and hear the heartbeat. I think the nurse and Dana were talking to me, but I was in a complete haze just watching that little screen. Dana and I felt relief knowing that everything was well with the baby and the pregnancy was progressing as it should. So here are some of the fun stories about what has gone on so far...

Oddest Moment of the Pregnancy (So Far)
So the oddest moment definitely came from Jessica. (Congrats Jessica, you made it into the blog) Only a few days after Dana and I learned about the pregnancy, Jessica calls Dana and leaves a message. The message from Jessica says, "Dana, I had the weirdest dream last night that you were pregnant. I never remember my dreams, but I remembered this one. Is there something that you need to tell me?" HOW WEIRD IS THAT?? So Jessica was actually the first person to find out about the baby. How could we not tell "The Prophetess"! That will make a really fun story to tell throughout the pregnancy and to our child. Now if we could just get Jessica to dream that we win the lottery!!

Telling Our Family
So we decided to break the news to our families at Christmas. We framed a family photo (Dana, Me, and the dogs) for our parents. Then we gave them a duplicate frame, only instead of the picture there was a note saying that we'd give them an updated family photo in August. They immediately got the message. Everyone was excited and it made us feel special that they were so happy.

Naming the Baby
No we haven't picked a name, but when you know that there's something in there you have to start using some type of term! So Dana thinks it's a boy and I'm thinking it's a girl. Being that I think it's a girl, I've given her the name Shanequa. I looked through some name books and it was really high on the originality scale, so I picked it. I'm not sure that it will stick, but it will do for now. I'm trying to get Dana to buy into my scheme of naming the baby. I want to allow people to bid on the naming rights of our child. I think it would be a great way to pay for all the baby stuff! Dana's not to keen on the idea. We'll see who wins this one!

Serious Stuff
For those of you who were looking for the sappy stuff, here ya go! On our way home to Missouri from Christmas in Arkansas, we decided that we wanted to write a journal book to our child. So we picked one up on the way, and started the project. We're using the journal to record our thoughts and emotions as key things happen in the pregnancy and eventually the life of our child. We're undetermined when we'll pass this project on to the kid, maybe at 12, 16, or 18...who knows. What we're hoping is that whenever he/she reads it they will be able to see and understand that in every step of life, Mommy, Daddy, and God truly loved them no matter what. After hearing the heartbeat today, it makes the letter so much more real.

Well that's all for now, but you can bet there will be more to come!

My Encounter with Mike

Wow! It's hard to believe that it's been so long since we've posted anything on here! Well, not really...cause I'm sort of a flake about these sorts of things. But my New Year's Resolution is to blog at least once a week, so hold me to it!

The logical place to start would be to fill in the blanks about what's going on in our lives here in Missouri (since we left off long, long ago when we were moving into the new house!), but I will try to do that at the end of this coming week. I really wanted to blog about something different, so bear with me.

I am getting my Master's of Christian Education from Southwestern Seminary, and so I spent this past week in Fort Worth, Texas taking a class. The class is a 1-week intensive course that goes from 8:00 to 5:15 every day! Needless to say, it is tiring. But the week ended up being a pretty cool experience. Here's how it went down...

Sunday night, I arrived in Fort Worth and checked into my 5-star hotel...the Delux Inn! (No typo there, they left the "e" off on purpose!) In an effort to save money and be frugal for our family budget, I put my life on the line and stayed here...


As you can see, it had cable! You can also see the candle and bottle of Febreeze! I should mention that this was hotel #2. #1 lasted about 5 seconds because the room to the left on mine had a notice from the Health Department on the door prohibiting entrance due to "overwhelming amount of roaches". That's what was written by the Health Inspector--and I'm guessing that he's seen a lot of roaches!! Anyway, back to the week!

So I survived my sleeping arrangements and went through the first few days of class. The class was on the subject of evangelism, and one of the assignments was to share the Gospel with 4 individuals in one afternoon. To be honest, I was upset about the assignment and did not want to participate at all. It was not because I was ashamed of my salvation or afraid of sharing, but it dealt more with the issue of authenticity and follow-up. (I'll save my reservations for another post or you can ask if you're interested in knowing why I was apprehensive) I worked with another student, Daniel, and found a way to make the assignment work for me and my apprehensions, so we set out on Thursday to complete the assignment. That is when I encountered Mike.

It was freezing cold outside, so Daniel and I decided to head to the mall and see if anyone was stirring there. Upon entering, we walked past a coffee shop where a middle-aged, black man was sitting at a table with 3 duffel bags at his feet. It was immediately obvious to me that he was homeless and seeking some shelter from the freezing temperatures outside. I walked right past and continued my conversation with Daniel not thinking anything about this man. We went through the mall for almost an hour and had some good conversations with a few employees and some students who were out of school due to the ice. During all our conversations, God kept putting the face of that man on my mind. Daniel and I decided to split up for a while and just hang out in different areas, so I knew where I was going. I went back to the coffee shop, and the man was still sitting in the same place.

I walked up and introduced myself to him. His name was Mike. I told him that I was heading to the food court to get some food, and that I'd be happy to buy his meal if he wanted to walk with me. He asked why I would buy him anything so I told him that I just wanted to make sure that he knew Jesus loved him. He turned down my offer but asked me for the money instead. We had a funny discussion about why I wouldn't give him cash, but I re-extended the offer and told him that I would be waiting in the food court. I honestly thought that the conversation was over. But it wasn't.

About 10 minutes later, Mike tapped on my shoulder and said, "Can I still take you up on that offer?" Are you kidding? OF COURSE! So Mike and I walked to "Phil's Philly Cheese-Steak Stand" where he bought a $12 sandwich! If if was extra and could be squeezed on a sandwich...then he had them put it on there! As we waited, we talked. Mike was from Louisville, KY and was talking to Waco, TX in hopes of finding work. He had nothing but the bags he was carrying. He hadn't had a home for about 3 years. He had lived with a lady for a few years before leaving for the streets about a year ago. Mike and I began to talk about church, God, and sin.

Mike would tell me something that he had heard about God or thought about church, and I would share straight verses straight from the Bible. Mike was eating it up! In fact, his food was served and Mike didn't touch it because he was so involved in the conversation! Here is a man that admitted he hadn't eaten since the morning of the day before, but he was too involved in this conversation about sin and salvation to touch his food. Mike let me share about my background, my church, and eventually my testimony. Mike sat and listened to the Gospel and got really honest with me. He told me that because of his circumstances and how he had been treated, he didn't want to trust anybody, not even Jesus. We continued to talk about who God really is and all that He has done for us. I could really see Mike's wheels turning. As we finished the conversation, Mike made a statement that profoundly impacted me.

Mike thanked me for the food, but then he thanked me for sharing with him that Jesus really did love him. He actually apologized to me for not trusting Jesus to be the authority and savior in his life. He said that he wanted to do that, but he just couldn't cause he wasn't ready. Then he said, "But you made me think about it and I promise I'm gonna keep thinking about it."

In no way do I think that I did even an adequate job of describing God and what He did for us by sending Jesus to the cross. And I definitely don't share this to say "look what I did." I share this so that you might pray for Mike. I pray that God sends another Christian into his path to keep his mind on his need for Christ. I also share to remind myself and you that there are dying people all around us that have only one hope...Jesus Christ. My encounter with Mike has my mind continuously thinking, "Am I intentionally sharing the redeeming power of Jesus Christ with all that I can?"

"When we see man for what he is, the wrath of God for what it is, and the cross for what it is, then and only then do we see love for what it is." --Leon Morris